Nov. 29th, 2011

aktfdb5k: (Default)
First... I need to say...

Otanjoubi Omedetooouu.. Chinen Yuri.. ^^.. Wish you all the best.. Always pray for your happiness... Please be always together with yamada nee.. ^^... Always supporting you from here.. And thank you so much for always make me stronger with your smile.. ^^.. I Love You *glare by yama* and All of Member of JUMP of course.. *JUMP is 10 FOREVER*

And this...

Hahaha.. *laugh bitterly*

It's soo ironic... Yesterday.. I told some people for fighting for ending their problem and smiling again... And I posted my fic.. Only one chapter around 10 am today, that I'm really greatfull, finally have time for posting.. Even though it's only 1 chapter... And from friday.. I got a fever that pretty high that made me crying every night.. I don't know why... I can't blame all of those exam that make me streess, or my school sistem.. I can't be someone who can said "YOU ALL ARE NOT MY FRIENDS!!! I'M SICK WITH ALL OF YOU!!! YOU MAY ACTED SO KIND IN FRONT OF ME, BUT DON'T YOU THINK I'M STUPID, I KNOW YOUR REAL FACE!!!" Clearly straight to those people.. Because I don't want the past happen again...

I know that maybe I can't be a child that can be proud of.. I'm really sorry if I can't be someone like what you want.. It's my fault that I never tell about my problem to someone, neither to my own family... I know that all of you only show how much you guys care about me... But like they said.. Our tounge is sharper than our sword.. And how much words could affected one person.. Sometimes I really want to tell them.. "You don't know me.. So don't speak that maybe it sounds That easy... Everyone is different.. You not me and I'm not like you... Can't you respect me? Even just a little.."

I'm really sick of all of this.. I even can't make something for someone I really admired.. Chinen Yuri.. I promise to myself that I will make a cake for him.. And ff.. It's how I show to everyone that he always give me inspiration and also make me feel stronger even though he didn't know me.. But hey.. It's much better than someone who know me but only make me down, sad, and streess... And now I have to broke my own promise just because all of you? And congratulation.. All of you've succed for making me crying..

I can't hold it anymore... I'm really sorry for everything that I can't fullfil for now or next time.. Now I know.. What is it like.. Having a thought quitting this fandom.. And once again.. I'm really sorry for my late update.. And maybe I need more time.. For hiatus.. I know I'm still newbie for this fanfic world.. Demoo.. I already wrote many fic, but doesn't have the time for posting it..

I'm sorry for this.. 'Heavy' entry.. Demoo.. Hope you understand the reason why I didn't show up and give my comment and posting my fic here.. I'm really afraid if I have to lost of you *friends in here and other Jumpers out of livejournal friends* too.. Please forgive me for all of my speak that unconsciously made you angry or sad.. But believe me.. I always try to become a good person and always try my best to becareful with my word so I'm not hurting you...

Thank you for become my friend... And I'm sorry for ruin chii's happily moment, all of your moment... I hope god will give me another chance next year for making or do something special for the squirrel....

April 2017

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